Rıfat was the only son in his family, and throughout his life, he never had to struggle or fight for anything. His family, generous and ever-supportive, stood behind him like a mountain, ensuring he never lacked anything and could easily obtain whatever he desired—simply because he was the only son.
Whenever Rıfat wanted to start a business, his family would mobilize, working together like ants gathering food for their nest. His father, brothers-in-law, and sisters would spring into action to help him launch his venture, and they would quickly resolve any problems he encountered. If payments were delayed or products weren’t delivered on time, someone would always step in and fix the issue before Rıfat even had a chance to address it himself.
Starting a business was just the beginning. For Rıfat to move more comfortably at work and keep up with the busy pace, he might urgently need a car. His father would step in for this too, making sure his son didn’t experience any difficulty or struggle, and would buy the most suitable car for work and hand over the keys. Comfort was important. The more comfortable he was, the more he could focus on work and be successful, his father thought. “No one helped us when we were young, but now we have the means—why should our precious son suffer?” his father would say, recalling his own hardships.
Rıfat became an expert at this. “That business didn’t work, let’s try this one. If that doesn’t work, let’s try something else.” He tried every field imaginable—from glassware to delicatessen, clothing store to nut shop. Whenever things went wrong, everyone but Rıfat was at fault. The markets were terrible, and the people he worked with didn’t know how to do business. Well, Rıfat was a bit unlucky too. Life had never smiled at him. Whatever he did, some misfortune always found him. Life, he thought, just wasn’t on his side.
By the age of 40, despite all the support from his family, Rıfat hadn’t managed to own a business or start a family. His relationships were just like his business life. He didn’t want to contribute to household expenses or wedding costs, preferring everything to come to him effortlessly. Since he never put in any effort, marriage held little meaning for him, and he claimed there were no suitable women to marry anyway.
Why did Rıfat’s life turn out this way?
His family never allowed him to solve his own problems or face the consequences of his setbacks. They constantly took over his responsibilities. How could a person appreciate something they acquired without effort? They couldn’t, right? Rıfat couldn’t either. Because people value what they work for and put effort into.
When people pay the price for what they experience, they become skillful and resilient in life. To become skillful, a person needs to struggle and experience the hunger for something. How skilled can someone be at cooking if they’ve never been hungry? Or how skilled can someone be at communication who has never had to communicate with others, who has always gotten what they wanted instantly? How much can someone working in a comfortable job strive to reach a higher position? They’d say, “Oh well, I’m fine as I am.” They’d think, “I won’t get involved in anything,” and wouldn’t struggle to move up.
That’s how it was in Rıfat’s story. Throughout his life, he never lacked anything—work, marriage, home, car, money—and instead, his family members became skillful in his place by solving all the problems his problems. Since Rıfat was always comfortable, he drifted aimlessly like a ship without a destination.
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Experiental Desing Teaching is a body of knowledge that generates strategies for designing our future, drawing on past experiences.
It offers methods for people to be happier, more successful, and have better relationships.
The programs, which begin with "Who is Who" and continue with "Mastery in Relationships" and "Success Psyhology" help people become happier and more successful than they were yesterday.
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"Among billions of people, what could possibly be important about 'one' person?
Ask that 'one' person!"
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